Jokes Of The Day

Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postman: Yeh post office hai, police station nahi.
Man: Kya karu? Kahan jau? Sala Khushi k maare kuchh samajh me nahi aa raha.
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Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai.
Wife: Woh Kya?
Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gayi!
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Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life... The wives want both!
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Two men are talking.
1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!
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Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
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Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding?
To tell each other affectionately... Sweetheart U R Dead!
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Two days of power cut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators
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How did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
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Santa: I have swallowed a yak.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
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Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
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Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"
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History teacher asked Santa: Name kalidas's brother who was a shoemaker.
Santa: Adidas
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Teacher to Santa: where were you born?
Santa: Thiruvananthapuram
Teacher: can u spell it?
Santa (after thinking for some time): I think I was born in GOA.
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Santa looking at himself in the mirror, "I have seen this man somewhere".
After half an hour, "Oh, its the same man, who married my wife."
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Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
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Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out
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Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se
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Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
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Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aaya hai.
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Santa: Do you know English?
Banta: Yes
Santa: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of NAAG PANCHAMI?
Banta: So simple Yaar... NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME.
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A father asks peon: How are the studies in this college?
Where do I see my son in future?
Peon: The future is bright, I had also completed my engineering from the same college!
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Harbhajan starts raising his bat on 33 runs.
Dravid: What happened, its not 50 or 100!
Harbhajan: Yes, but the students understand the importance of scoring 33.
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To be a "Good professional", always start to study late for "Exams". Because it teaches how to manage "Time" and tackle "Emergencies"!!
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Human brain is the most outstanding object in world. It
functions 24hrs a day, 365days a year. It functions right
from the time we are born, and stop only when we enter
the examination hall.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether
it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying
the wrong remedy.
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In politics, your enemies can't hurt you, but your friends
will kill you.
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A patriot must always be ready to defend his country
against his government.
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A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
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There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it.
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Lamha lamha waqt guzar jayega
saat pheron ke saath koi tumse bandh jayega. Abhi bhi waqt hai kisi se affair kar lo
kya pata kal kaun sa model tumhe saunpa jayega..
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Titanic was sinking.
An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 K Ms.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
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Posted by Amit Sarkar at 10:18 AM 0 comments
Wife: tum ne k diya kiya haimujhe aaj ta
10 saal tak sirf 2 bachon k he qabil rahe.
Husband: tum meri mehnat dekho aur apni production dekho.
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Wife: Bas karo kitna karoge? raat se kar rahe ho. Thaky nahi abhi tak?
Husband: Raat se kar raha hoon to kiya hua aaj to main pora din karonga.
SMS itne saste jo hogaye hain.
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Doctor patient k peche bhag raha tha.Ek admi ne pocha kya hua?
Doctor: 4 baar aisa he hua hai sala brain ka opreation karwane aata hai aur baal katwa k chala ata hai.
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Pathan's wife: Jaan ek puppy do na.
Pathan: kocha! ghar main khaanay k liye paisa nahi hai, aur tujhe kuttay ka bacha chahiye.
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Wife : I will die.
Husband : I will also die.
Wife : why do u want to die?
Husband : because main itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta.
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Man: Patni agar pati ko noukar samjhe to kaya karna chahiye.
Santa-- " Usae do chaar ghar aur pakad lene chahiye."
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Girl to Boy: kya shaadi k baad bhi tum mujh se aitna pyar karo gaye?
Boy: kyon nahi? main to diwana hoon shaadi-shuda aurton ka.
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Husband aur wife hotel me gaye tabhi 1 lady neHello kiya,
Wife- koun thi wo?
Hus-Tum dimag kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hu ki woh bhi Yehi puchegi.
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Train mai ek husband apni wife say:
Tujh say shadi kar k pachta raha hoon
Dil karta hai tujhe kutttay k aagay daal doon
Samnay wala passenger bola: bhao bhao
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